Lets have a Chat About: Not A Hero

Game: Not A Hero

Developer: Roll7

Publisher:Devolver Digital 

Platfoms:Ps4,Xbox1,Pc

(Bunny Lord is a unfunny Jackass)

       
                     

	I Got Not A Hero, Via PS Plus a few months back and when it first came out I could not put it down untill I had beaten it. 3 months later and I'm still on and off playing in bursts, to get The Glorious Bunny lord to his rightful place as All Powerful Global Leader. This game is about quick actions and thinking, You shoot guys, or execute them with the push of a button and you can die just as fast. The game  is a 2D cover shooter which sounded horrible to me until I played it, you see I'm NOT a fan of cover shooters they bore me this is that in 2d on crack, and its fucking awesome.

(Image from the Yakuza Missions, this one has you killing Fish)

       
        It starts off with you being approached by this guy in a bunny mask who calls himself Bunny lord, he wants you to kill the Russian mob leader so he can look better in the polls, you see hes running for mayor. The game presents itself in such a way that it never once takes itself seriously, you go from trying to kill certain targets to, stealing ferns for the fern museum, whatever it takes to get your man bunny lord ahead in the polls your there to do it no questions asked. Before and after the missions bunny lord goes on triads about Random BS, and I do mean random the game scripts itself so even if your doing the same mission for the millionth time he speaks some new random gibberish which was amusing about one time. Most the time you'll wanna skip through what this game considers humor, as it gets old super quickly.

(Final Boss Battle, your job? Shoot her in the back.)

       
         The game play itself is where this game shines, as its a blast to play and the feeling of playing the same mission a bunch of times then playing it perfectly is amazing as things can feel super smooth,almost surgical at times. The reload on missions is not long at all so you never feel as if dieing is super frustrating.(unless You die a lot obviously) The game starts off really simple but once you add in the samurai, ninjas and helicopters it rams up a lot. The boss fights of which there are three, are not super amazing but do the job and all of them are about you doing most the work just so Bunny lord can swoop in and kill them himself, taking credit and getting higher in the polls. It, annoyed me at first but it makes sense when you look at the game, because your one of a handful of hit men (With Jesus The Cuban love machine Being the only one that matters) and YOU DON"T MATTER, because this is all about Bunny lord's rise to power, you are literally not even the hero of your own book in this game.

(Spanish Jesus, Only Character you need)

     The game is really short with my original run taking about 4 Hrs., a lot of that being from me trying to finish all the objectives in a single go, however this is actually a good thing the game doesn't get the chance to out stay its welcome and it is one of those games that benefits greatly from being short. All the levels take around 5 minutes to beat with the boss battles taking maybe 10, but it adds to the game instead of taking away from, again I beat this months ago but I can turn it on and play a couple quick missions to try and go for side objectives which unlocks more hit men to play as, and gives you a false sense of accomplishment. Overall, I would say this game is defiantly worth checking out, it is short but in being such its not a serious commitment for a game that is a lot of fun.

A Blow to My Backlogg:Jerry's Game(Android)

   OK, so for a new year we get a new title, for when I talk about games that I have beaten, that represents my eternal struggle with my Backlog of games. So Here is the first in my new series of blog posts A Blow to My Backlog. Today I'm going to talk about a real triumph of gaming Jerry's Game!

                                                                  (Just like Jerry!)
   Do you hate balloons?, or love to mindlessly pop things forever? Then Jerry's Game is the game for you! This game is based off a joke game in the amazing cartoon Rick and Morty(if you haven't seen it go watch it immediately) In the show Jerry is an idiot, so a simple game like this is amazing to him. The game treats you like Jerry as you play it celebrates every so often how mindless you are being with these huge spectacles of achievements like popping ten balloons, or popping 5000 balloons.

(Being Rick levels of wasted helps)

                                                                   

     So what does popping balloons do for you? it allows you to unlock things by spending the popped balloons. The things you can unlock are Backgrounds, Music,and Balloons, which basically just make the game slightly different, I guess at least you not staring at the same thing the whole time. The balloons you unlock come in two flavors, Balloon animals and balloons that burst open with a bunch of stuff inside of them. Those balloons are either confetti, Stuffed animals or nails, Nails is the only useful balloon.

(Balloon Dog do you see it?! are you hyped?!!!)

        The last unlock group is power ups that you hav to buy after every use they range from kinda useful to not at all, and they include sowing balloons down, a auto poker, or freezing the balloons on screen for a tiny bit,OR for 100,000 balloons you can unlock everything, even though everything together costs much much less.The final thing you can do in this game is just watch a bunch of ads, which earns you a bunch of balloons.

(Ads!!!)

     This game is a joke, and it was meant to be within minutes I got the joke and was done with this game. I will say however my two year son Jon Luke loved this game, he had a blast with it, which is why I allowed him to just complete it for me, so if you've got a young child download this otherwise, id just leave it alone.

(of course then you miss out on things like this!)

Pokemon Go

 

  Nintendo released a cell phone game, it is super addicting and its of course a Pokemon game which means it might as well be actual crack to me, I mean I Bought a new phone just for it. It should be noted this game is still being worked on it is not a 100% complete product, but I really wanted to talk about it anyway so and I'll probably be doing a bunch of these posts about it. Also I may be a bit biased as I fucking love Pokemon.
      When you first, start the game I got that  tingle I normally get when I start up any of  the main series Pokemon games, the music intro plays I start freaking out, the professor comes on he looks a bit creepy but whatever, THEN! he wants me to pick a starter cool who do we.... FUCK YES! The starters you get to choose from are the original 3; Blubasuar, Squritle, and of course the best of the best Charmander! I picked Charmander then looked up to see that I was now swerving my car in between to lanes.

Professor Willow

      Pokemon Go is strange its super repetitive, easy to play anywhere, frustrating, enjoyable and it is a social phenomenon. The game itself is a very dumbed down version of Pokemon you don't battle wild Pokemon you just throw balls at them till they are caught. To evolve or power up Pokemon you must catch a ton of the same kind of Pokemon to get candies once you get a specified amount you can evolve your Pokemon. Your trainer is the only one that does actual leveling, gaining you better items to use to catch more Pokemon, and once you hit level five you can join a team of either, Mystic, Valor, or Instinct( Articuno, Molttres, or Zapdos) I picked Valor as I always choose the fire type, so might as well choose the fire team.

The Only True Team is Team Phoenix

       After that you got a couple things you can do, catch Pokemon, and take over gyms for your team in a kind of Pokemon turf war.My main issue with the gyms is that when you go against them you get your full team of 6 Pokemon against what can sometimes be one Pokemon or it could be six but even if your just able to beat the first in the gym it'll knock out Pokemon till you eventually just win meaning you can just throw yourself against a amazing team till you win essentially. However training up a gym is a bitch, to train up a gym you must battle your own teams gyms and the further you get the better your gym becomes, unfortunately if your like me you'll cap a gym then put in your best Pokemon making it very difficult to then train your gym up as you can only go at it with one of your Pokemon at a time.

What The game Looks like

            The biggest coolest aspect of this game for me is the experiences it gives like, of going to a park and seeing huge groups of people crowding a poke-stop because someone set off a lure, or spending the entire night with your wife tracking down, Abra's or poke stops to stock up, or going out with my brother and taking down gyms. Me and my wife even made a game off it in which after a bunch of hunting and drinking wed run around the Longview lake and try and hit poke stops as fast as possible. This is the best thing this game brought to me it gave me the closest thing to bringing pokemon to the real world that we have, I just hope an update will allow me to battle trainers!

Pic of the VR that didn't work on my phone

   

BulletStorm (Review)

        I first bought Bulletstorm because of the hype that surrounded it mostly generated by the fact the game was supposed to have kicked the 1st person genre into another gear, a friend of mine Devon loved the game and another friend of mine Adam couldn't even bring himself to finish it. My opinion is mixed between these two. However having the Voice actor of Spike Speigal really did help.

       
      So, the Games Story starts and finishes very generically, your a space outlaw who was tricked into killing innocents, by a shitty organization, and now you want revenge. Ok so off the bat, I wasnt impressed I have seen and heard this story or variations of this story a million times,but anyway you end up crashing on a thunderdome like planet, in which you get to unleash bloody carnage on all the inhabitants in your quest for redemption! I will give the game this at first the characters got some laughs out of me but very quickly the humor died on me, I can only take so many jokes about dick shots untill it just gets old, and really thats how the whole game feels.

       The game plays like other first person shooters, but with the addition of skill shots, a powerful kick, and a weapon called the leash that acts as a whip/ device you buy things with. Basicly the leash records how well your doing, and rewards points for it. So lets say you just shoot someone to death, well then you get 1o points, towards gun upgrades, new weapons, ammo. Now lets say you leash the person towards you, shoot them in the balls, then kick them into a cactus, well then you get 400 points so it really does behoove you to get creative. But, not really because you see each area has one maybe to hazards, and you get 8 weapons total. Now you can do some cool stuff with each weapon but you unlock them slowly and by the time you get your next one, you've done everything you really can with the previous ones. Hazards are the same pretty much everywhere and boil down to knock, that enemy into your choice of SPIKES! ELECTRICITY! CACTUS! BLADES! DIFFERENT ELECTRICITY!

         That is not to say the game is not fun. Using a robot T-Rex to destroy your enemies was awesome fun. The Sniper, and trip mine guns were two of my favorite things in this game just because of the things you could do with them. The problem is  fun just doesn't last long in between new things, every time you do get a new gun or new enemy ( of which there are around 5 different types), or face a new boss, there is fun top be had but for a game with 7 acts which are about two chapters a piece the game feels so damn long, which just is not a good sign, in a game that is supposed to be this action packed, high octane  shooter, to be left feeling bored is just unacceptable. 

Babyluv

    When I first met you, I thought you were so cool, your attitude, your energy, the way you gave no fucks what the others thought. I was drawn to you, not in the way I am now but, I catch myself wishing that I had seen it sooner, we are yang and yang, we mesh so damn well that it is scary, babyluv we truly belong together.
      I always respected you as a manager and a co-worker, the passion you have for your job, we could all see it in you. I remember being scared when Alan told me you were coming back because I knew my hours could be at risk with you back. I never worried about anyone else that way I was always confident in my abilities there but, you I knew that you would at the least rival me, but likely exceed me. I was worried then and I was worried years later when you came back to my store, because I knew only you could take that senior position from me, I was wrong to be worried, if I had been able to tell the future then I would have only been excited, if I had really understood that I was stressed about my soulmate entering my life again I would have laughed at myself.
        The moment that I realized that I had a crush on you was strange, I was scrolling though face book when you picture caught my eye, you know the one your making a face with at least half your hair in one hand that you had just cut off yourself. That picture stopped me, it wasn't just your beautiful, face but the dorkiness of the picture this was someone who I could have fun with and was just amazingly beautiful I thought to myself, I bombed that photo with comments, but never did work up the courage to ask you out. A few more times I almost mustered up the courage and I just couldn't do it, you once asked me to lady and the tramp some breadsticks with you during this, and I was sooo down I said yes almost to quickly and you laughed at the "joke"
         You called me up randomly one night, raytina had kicked you out of her house and you wanted to continue drinking a bit so you called and asked if you could come over, my heart skipped a beat then, I said "of course, man no problem" I thought I should play it cool obviously because you are such a badass. You came over but we couldn't find any similar games so we shuffled cards, all night then you went back into my room and plopped down on my bed, we bsed a little then you went to sleep, that morning you could've cut that tension with a knife, we eye balled each other and it only didn't happen because neither were sure of the other. You went home I kicked myself in the ass, I had just let this sexy woman leave without even trying anything!
          You messaged me a day after, something to the affect of, "hey so did you feel that tension between us or was that just me" I actually broke out into the dumbest smile, " it wasn't just you" I repiled. That first night was amazing we definitely clicked in that department, we were like two animals in heat and we have not slowed down yet babyluv! The second time is when one realized I wanted something more with you, every time you came over we hung out for awhile before and I was enjoying that as much as everything else, I was very nervous about this because I had thought that what we were doing was all that you wanted, and at the time it was.
            We went out one night, you told me that we were each other's beards that we would help each other get into the dating world again, and that you would wing man for me, you didn't notice how quiet I got each time you said that, how I kept stating "I don't know man, all I know is that I like you a lot" we went out that night, you took me to a club in which you were gonna wing man for me, we watched a fight happen, gambled a little bit, then closing time happened and we were not done yet, we swung by my place I grabbed more liqueur and we went up to la center to go to a Casino, but we never made it in, instead we drunkenly made out for 2hrs and bullshitted all night. We went to that hellhole of a motel and that's were the night went a bit sour that motel was fucking horrible and we both have agreed to burn it down one day, we had a bit of an argument, then screamed our heads off in metal voices that the motel could go Fuck itself, it's then I realized that I was in love with you, that whole car ride home I was nervous and scared you wouldn't want anything to do with me , I was wrong to be.
            You see we click me and you we just do we are the same, our sense of humor, the way we Fuck, our personalities, everything just clicks and it scared the shit out of both of us I think, just how well we go together. Since then I've just fallen more in love with you as we go on, you've shown me that you have my back even when I'm drunk, and crying you backed me and I hope that you know that I've always got your back to babyluv. We have our funerals planned, and you've promised to dance in my hot snakes, we've lady and the tramped a candy came, and a chocolate doughnut right in the parking lot of winco, you've serenaded me with slow jams, and Mario even had his way with me.
              I wrote this because my heart burns for you and I can't really put into words well enough the love, and passion I have for you, you came out of seemingly nowhere and for the life of me I can't belive I didn't see you before and I really wish that I had, because you Maria are my soulmate, because we are truly one, we are Matttmar two souls that were one but it was just too much of a Badass so Zeus himself had to split us, but we found each other anyway and I have no plans of letting anything split us again.  

2015 A Year of Transition and Growth

      At the beginning of this year I figured it would be another year of disappointment, failure, and I went into it with the same level of negativity that I've had since I was a child. Then the middle of the year, hit me hard and I thought I'd be checking out, that life was telling me that it was my time or that I had o overstayed my welcome. My God I'm so fucking happy that my friends and family didn't let me listen to that shitty voice.
    This year has been a year of rebirth for me, a lot has changed and it started with me. It started with a conversation with a friend of mine named Devon Coxx, he told me " Lean on us your friends, when I was going though my own shit I shut down and I regret the friendships I strained due to it." I latched on to this idea and took it to the extreme, agreeing to every plan a friend of mine made, confiding in my inner circle opening up to people was something I was not good at, because a few people in my life told me what I was and I believed them. But I needed to change so I stepped outside me comfort zone whenever possiable, I took up as many hobbies and went on as many adventures as I could in the name of growth and distraction.
       I made many new friends and I made my old friendships stronger, I used them when I felt I couldn't go on, and the ones that stayed when they saw me at my lowest will forever have my gratitude because without you, I would have never made it to where I am now. Old friends who I had thought I had lost came back into my life, once I realized I had been a shitty friend to them wallowing in my own self pity, and keeping them farther then arms length and for that I'll always be sorry, you mofos always have had my back and you deserved better. Every single fucking one of you I've learned and grown though thank you so much.
        My focus shifted this year from all the bad things that happened to all the good things that were happening, I made a choice to not allow myself to be beat down like that again, to see my life as something amazing, to let go of anger and resentment that I'd held on to for years like a blanket with too many holes in it, it was time to replace my way of thinking, to one that didn't be live he was owed a thing but rather grateful for everything that I did have. But, there was something missing a hole in me that I couldn't fill with everything I'd tried to.
          Then, she came into my life, we'd always been friendly and got along well at work but, I never in my life thought she'd mean as much to me as she does now. It started off a as good friendship, more physical then anything else, but quickly I realized that, she was cut of the same cloth as me, she threw things down and I picked them up, I thought she was too cool to like me in any other way then friend and I was ok with that not great but ok. Then I found out she felt the same way about me, SHE was actually nervous about us to and I could've just died of happiness. We click on every level, we get along like old friends that just get each other and it is insane to me sometimes that I had not seen this sooner. But maybe that was because I had to become what I have to truely let her in, so that Matttmar, could become a thing. I'm so thankful for you babyluv, your everything I need in a woman, strong, straight forward, fun, a touch crazy( in a way similar to me) your so fucking hot and cool, and just thank you for being you! You increase my confidence just knowing you are on my side.
        And now it seems it's time to walk away from a job I've held for 7 years, my only job, really,  And I find myself scared and excited for this new opportunity. I also think it's just crazy, how quickly life can change, 2016 is gearing up to be a good year for me all the cards seem like they are finally in place for me and for once I  feel happy and content unafraid at what lies next because I know that with the help of my family and Friends I'm gonna rock 2016 and beyond. Cheers to you crazy mofos that make my life incredible!
       
   

J-Stars Victory Versus Plus (Review)

      This game originally caught my eye due to the box I'm sad to admit , it's one of the few times brand marketing worked on me. This game has a bunch of anime characters shoved into one game they play slightly different, but overall the simplicity of the combat system makes everything feel samey which is this games biggest flaw.
        The controls are simple there is jump, attack, strong attack, and projectile, dodge, and support, there are combos but overall they are very simple mostly being attack and strong attack combinations. Victory is handled in a unique way each team can be downed a certain amount of times between 1-3 is all I've seen the winner is the one who fills the victory gauge first, you'll find you need to keep an eye on your teammate during harder battles as they alone can be taken out and cause you to lose.
     There also is a burst meter in the center on the victory gauges for each team. This gauge goes back and forward and is influenced by the momentum that your team, is getting once you get it to either end that team can activate burst which increases speed and attack, along with allowing for ultimate moves to be used. When an opponent uses their burst it's best just to dodge and run allowing the meter to run out.
       Adventure mode is spilt into 4 arcs which essentially are, One piece Arc, DBZ Arc,Naurto Arch and Bleach Arch, with random characters thrown in. The overall story is a being throws a tournament for all these fighters winner gets whatever they want as a wish, teams of three are made, and they hunt down these medals, they need to bring to the god like entity. Now this here was ok it dragged on a bit but by the end it was alright didn't overstay it's welcome, cool I'm done now I thought. No. After you do this you have half a game left while you run around trying to get keys now, godamn it J-Stars why? The worst thing is after I beat this arc, I started another, besides some small dialogue changes its word for word the same as the first arc. I really don't understand why they couldn't have just let you pick your three guys from the beginning and had just the one story, 4 times of the same boring long story? Fuck that.
         The game over all is mindlessly entertaining and I may have forgave more of its faults had I not bought this game for $60, for that price you can flesh out the game a bit more guys.But it is very cool to see Bo BoBo fight Goku, and it did give me a bunch of different animes to check out which is never a bad thing, a friend of mine really enjoyed the Troriko one. If you can find it for $20 or less grab it if you like anime, if not pass on this mediocre sort of fighting game.