Godzilla (PS4)

      This game was awesome, but awesome in the way a sparkler is, it's neat at first for sure but it doesn't do much else afterwords. The game does a good job of making you feel like your fighting giant monsters, but it really could have used a better story mode.
        So, the first thing you will notice is that there are 4 different modes, God of Destruction mode is your sort of main mode you go pick a kaiju and then start battling other kaiju. You pick your paths mostly it's just a difficulty choice, or a monster choice, this is also how you unlock other monsters when you beat one you will unlock them. The way difficulty works is one of my favorite touches so I'll mention it here, you switch difficulty whenever, you switch paths changing difficulty changes the leader of the humans, easy is this guy that wants to understand the kaiju, Normal is this chick who is more intwnse, and hard is this dick guy. You must run through this mode multiple times before you will be able to actually beat, it and you won't do it with and under leveled kaiju.
        The next mode is King of the Kaiju mode which is arcade mode basically you just run through much faster and is the best mode to grind up kaiju parts which is how you level up your kaiju.The level up system is honestly annoying there is so much to level up on these kaiju, especially a few of the godzilla's and the only way to do that is to battle certain kaiju, or jaugers which gets annoying because you never know what your going to battle in either of these two modes, thus grinding is just more tedious then it should have been.
           The next two modes are cool but hard to recommend playing for very long. The first is diarama mode in which you just place figures then take pictures, I'm sure some will have more fun with this then I did, I'm glad it was included but over all I didn't sink much time into it. The last mode is online versus, which can be aweful if your kaiju are not leveled up, the first time I played I started with my regular non  leveled Godzilla Damn I got beat down by this monster of a godzilla, that was fully leveled up, the next time I played I was upgraded and fought a non upgraded version of myself and I felt like a cheap dick, it's just not fun because you rarely get a even match.
               The game looks and feels very good overall, however I was smiling my ass off the first few times though God of Destruction, you use the shoulder buttons to turn, and it is a bit slow but you feel the weight of the kaiju, your playing as when you do so, other then that there are just a few attack buttons but it works and feels great. The other mechanic to keep in mind during is that the more stuff you destroy the stronger you grow you also get bigger overall, towards the later levels you better have been destroying everything otherwise you are screwed.
           The negative things I have to say are that the game gets repetitive quickly,especially with the way the level system works.Versus mode is also broken due to this leveling system as you won't be getting many equal matches at least in my experience.Speaking of Godzilla, is the only monster you need to use as his level tree is the largest and he learns the most. Also while there are a bunch of awesome kaiju, and jaugers from the series there are about 4 versions of Godzilla and two versions of a few other kaiju, which is lame because the cast is pretty small overall.
            The positive is that this feels and looks amazing it is a Godzilla game for sure. The cast is cool and you get awesome monsters like biolante and destorayah. If you love Godzilla you will like this game, if you don't I wouldn't even bother with it.
         

Anxiety/Depression

      It's happening again I don't know why or when it will happen but my minds decided it hates me, here it says is everything wrong about you, your ugly, fat, abrasive,mean, you can't amount to anything ever. People don't like you it says they feel bad for you, your fucking pathetic.
       My mind tells me strangers hate me that, I'll fail if I try this or that so it's better to just stand still, but I hate myself more for that, to stagnant is worse then death yet it's all I can do when I'm like this.
        My friends I don't deserve you, yet your what I need to push on, I don't always believe any of you like me, when I screw up I'm so fucking afraid that you'll leave you won't like me anymore, and I lock up when this happens,or make things worse because that's what I'm good at. I cry for hours after any slight altercation, because I know you'll hate me now you'll leave, and I love you all too much. I feel like a burden on all of you. I'm scared I annoy you all with my whinyness and self hate so I try and lie sometimes, smile tell you I'm doing great but I'm not.
           I'm trying so fucking hard. Brain please just let me be free.
       
     

FREE

    The rush you get while driving recklessly though the streets at night with no traffic, or screaming your favorite music truly letting your emotions pour out of you with each word, the feeling you get staring at the stars and just taking in the beauty of everything around you allowing you to feel insignificant and alive at the same time.
      The ability to not worry about what others think or care what they maybe saying because you know you are what you should be, or being able to feel love for people without embarrassment or the need for it to reciprocated, to be able to share anything with a person and know it will be ok to just fall to pieces with them around.
        The courage to stand up for what you believe in no matter how hard it is going to be for you if you do, to be willing to admit your faults to others and know that you will learn from these failures turning them instead into lessons, being willing to experience new things and thoughts especially if you disagree with them.
          Freedom is a state of mind it's the only thing that no one can control that is yours and only yours it's to be treasured above all else as at its essence it is what makes us human, not just drones working non-stop going in circles. Never allow this to be taken from you, Think, Love,Live,and Learn. Be Free.